


Stay Real Close (And I Will Reach You)

by whispered_story



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-08
Updated: 2015-09-08
Packaged: 2018-04-19 18:04:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4755944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whispered_story/pseuds/whispered_story
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Season four is drawing to a close, and Jensen isn't sure what to do with himself. [repost, first posted 10/05/2009]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stay Real Close (And I Will Reach You)

The set is a little less fun without Jared, everything a little more forlorn. Jensen can't remember the last time he's missed someone else's laughter as much, or at all. 

Nobody else seems to notice, but nobody else is used to having Jared around every minute of every single day, nobody else wakes up to Jared's smile and dimples and falls asleep with their legs tangled together. Vancouver is Jared and Jensen's, and without Jared, it feels wrong. 

_It's just for a few days_ , Jensen tells himself and puts on a smile, works for two. He can't shake the tight knot in the pit of his stomach, though, the way his false cheer deflates every time he turns around and doesn't find Jared there. He knows it's not Jared's absence for these few days that’s shaking him. It's knowing that some day soon, this will be how things always are. There'll be a Jared-shaped gap in his life, only being filled occasionally when they can squeeze each other into their schedules.

 

*

 

Jensen keeps his cell phone close to him whenever he can, but they don't manage more than a couple of quick conversations, one of them always having to rush somewhere else. Jared texts him instead, leaves messages on his voicemail.

 _"The hotel uses this weird detergent. I miss the way our sheets smell, man."_ and _"I dreamed about the first time you kissed me tonight. Well, we were in the tree house in my parents' backyard in my dream and I think my momma was calling for me to come inside cause I still needed to do my homework, so maybe not really the first time. It made sense in my dream, I swear. But the kiss wasn't nearly as good as the real one anyway."_

Jensen smiles and aches all at once.

 

*

 

The house is worse than the set. With the lack of the noisy crew, all there is is silence. He never realizes how much noise Jared makes until he's not around.

It's the first time he's really alone in the house for more than one afternoon. He thinks he gets now why Jared insisted it's too big for just one person. 

So Jensen turns on the radio and chases Sadie and Harley around the place, their nails clicking against the hardwood floor and their excited barking filling some of the quiet. He lets them tackle him to the ground, rolls around with them for a moment, and laughs. 

Harley drapes himself over his stomach and Sadie lies down next to Jensen, her breath hitting his chin. Jensen pets them with one hand each and sighs. "You miss him, huh?" he asks, his voice sounding loud in his own ears. "And you know what's even worse? The runs won't be nearly as long as you two are used to until he's back. You better be mad at him for that, not me."

Sadie huffs a small bark and Jensen turns his face, looking right into her big, brown eyes. "Yeah, I can never be mad at him either."

When he goes to bed that night, he sleeps in the downstairs bedroom and he lets both dogs stay with him. It's the first time in months that he's slept in this bed.

 

*

 

Sadie and Harley run to Jared the second he comes through the door, jumping up and down and barking happily. Jared kneels down and barks right back, lets them lick his face and ruffles their short fur.

Jensen grins, watching them, and wishes he was a dog so he could tackle Jared without looking like an idiot. Jared doesn't seem to have the same qualms, crossing the distance between them with quick steps and laughing when they tumble to the ground.

"Jared," Jensen admonishes, but laughs softly. 

Jared braces himself on his arms, his face hovering over Jensen's and grins. If Jensen wasn't trapped under Jared's body, he'd reach out and run his fingers over Jared's dimples, memorizing the way they feel under his fingertips. 

"Hi, Jen," Jared says and cups Jensen's face with one hand before brushing their lips together. He traces Jensen's lips with his tongue and slides it into his mouth, tasting like sweet coffee and cherry chewing gum.

Jensen squashes the insistent voice in his head telling him it won't be like this forever, that there'll be months they'll spend alone and miles between them. For now, Jared is home and it may not be enough, but it's something.

 

*

 

They get the news about the renewal for a fifth season near the end of February and it's like a weight being lifted off Jensen. The celebration is small, just a couple of beers with everyone on set that day when they wrap up shooting. There's no time for more than that, not with having to work bright and early the next day.

When they come home, they go straight to bed. 

Jared presses into him slowly, taking his time. The light bulb in the lamp on Jared's end table is broken, so Jensen's is the only one illuminating the dark bedroom. It throws strange shadows on Jared's face, making one side look darker than the other and Jared's smile a little lopsided as looks down at Jensen.

Jensen arches up, forcing Jared deeper into him and moans. "God, Jay," he whispers and feels the first trickle of sweat on his temple as Jared starts moving. His thrusts are slow and languid. He leans down, kisses Jensen and it's oddly forceful in comparison. Jensen angles his face up and grips Jared's shoulders, kisses him back with all he has. Jared whimpers into his mouth and his hips stutter once before he pushes into Jensen hard and deep.

His breath hits Jensen's face in damp puffs when he pulls away. "Jen," he groans and Jensen feels the low rumble of his voice all through his body.

He slides one hand into Jared's hair, feeling the silky strands slip through his fingers and meets Jared's thrusts. The burn mingles with pleasure, sparks spiking through his body every time Jared slides in, his thrust angled just right.

Jensen squeezes his eyes shut, digging his nails into Jared's flesh when he comes. Jared collapses onto him, burying his face in Jensen's neck and Jensen holds him for a few minutes, not caring that Jared's weight is crushing him.

Jared turns his face, pressing a wet kiss to Jensen's throat and Jensen swears he can feel him smiling. "'nother year, Jen," he mumbles, sounding drowsy and happy.

"Yeah," Jensen agrees in a whisper and runs his hand up and down Jared's back in slow, sure strokes.

He sleeps better that night than he has in weeks.

 

*

 

Jensen's agent gets more insistent the closer they get to April, pushing him to make a decision and sending him countless scripts.

Mostly, Jensen just leafs through them and reads a few pages half-heartedly. Most of the scripts are for horror movies, which isn't surprising. It's been that way for years, both him and Jared being pushed more and more into the genre. Some of the offers he has are interesting, and if he was at a different point in his life he might say yes to some of them, but he wants something different. He wants to be someone else than the guy hunting monsters or killers, something else than being the one hunted. 

There's one script for a romantic comedy that's actually good. It's funny and refreshing, but when Jensen imagines it he can't see himself playing the down-on-his-luck guy meeting the woman of his dreams. He can't see himself on set, playing it out and saying those lines to the face of some pretty actress.

He's ready to shed Dean for the summer and be someone else, but he doesn't know who.

"I think the last time I felt like this was after graduation," Jensen says with a snort. He sips his beer and watches Jared turn the steaks in the pan.

"Maybe you should just be Jensen for a while," Jared suggests.

Jensen shrugs and makes a non-committal noise. "I don't know." He sighs and finishes his beer. "What are you gonna do?"

Jared grins. "Be Jared."

"You're not doing anything?" Jensen asks in surprise and frowns. He racks his brain, wondering if it's the first time he's heard of it. He comes up blank and feels oddly bothered that Jared hasn't talked to him until now, his decision already made.

"Yeah. Figured I'd deserve a break. We worked the last few summers, and the rest of the year we were doing Supernatural. It's time to just kick back and do nothing. Maybe take a longer trip."

Jensen chews on his lower lip and shrugs again. Jared's got it all figured out, looks relaxed and happy and Jensen feels like he's the only one who doesn't know where he's going, what he's doing with himself. 

"I just feel so aimless."

Jared pulls the pan off the stove and sets it aside. He crowds Jensen against the cabinets, resting his hands on Jensen's hips. "You'll figure out what you want, Jen," he says and gives him a small, sure smile before kissing him.

 

*

 

Jensen has his own house in L.A. The only things there that are Jared's are the handful of clothes he's forgotten when he stayed over, a book he's half read and an old pair of sneakers. Everything else is all Jensen's.

He tells people that Vancouver is where he works. L.A. is home. It doesn't feel like it anymore.

 

*

 

The distance between Sam and Dean is hard to play. After years of playing a unit, of being just as close off-screen, it's a completely new feeling playing the two brothers get more and more estranged. It's equally exciting as it's exhausting.

"It's ironic that while we're closer than ever before, they've never been so distant," Jared says with a laugh one night while they're practicing lines for the second to last episode. "I can't draw on what we have to play what they have anymore."

"Well, they couldn't exactly write what we have these days into the scripts," Jensen deadpans, but there's a warm flutter in the pit of his stomach anyway. 

Jared laughs and throws his script onto the coffee table. "Might be fun to play though," he jokes and gets up, stretching his legs. "I'm getting a beer. Want anything?"

Jensen shakes his head and points at his still full bottle. "'m fine." He relaxes back into the cushions and reads over a paragraph again, muttering it under breath and testing out the words. He hears Jared talking to Harley and Sadie in the kitchen, and there's music coming from Jared's iPod station. Before he moved in with Jared, Jensen studied lines with in compete silence, but the constant noise in the background has become reassuring instead of distracting.

"Jared," he complains when Jared comes back, throwing himself onto the couch and ending with his feet in Jensen's lap. He extracts the script from underneath Jared's feet.

"Come on, we're done for the day. Relax."

Jensen gives Jared an exasperated look, before sighing heavily and laying his script on top of Jared's. "Happy?" he asks.

Jared grins and holds open his arms. "Lie down with me and I will be."

There's a grin on his face, mischievous and amused and Jensen has never been able to resist the look. Any look, really. 

They shift around, Jared turning onto his side and Jensen lies down next to him, his head pillowed on Jared's arm.

Jared presses a kiss to his neck. "See, this is nice, isn't it?" 

Jensen squirms, trying to get more comfortable. Jared's arm isn't exactly meant to be a pillow, but he finds a position that won't kill his neck and settles down. "You act as if I've never just lain anywhere with you."

Jared sighs and runs a hand down Jensen's stomach, stopping at the waistband of his jeans. "You've been a little high-strung lately." 

There's no accusation in his words, so Jensen lets it slide. He closes his eyes and feels himself relax slowly as Jared's hand starts moving again, running under his shirt and stroking the skin of his stomach as Jared hums along to the music.

They lie like that, neither of them moving. One of the dogs trots into the living room after a while, snuffing at their feet but Jensen doesn't even bother looking up to find out who it is. The cold muzzle is gone again just as quickly and Jensen shifts his feet, pressing them to Jared's. 

He feels himself getting drowsy when Jared's humming turns into soft singing. Jensen smiles to himself and listens more closely to the music. Bon Jovi, one of their slow, sappy songs, because Jared thinks it romantic no matter how many times Jensen tells him it's really not. Most of Jared's words aren't right, a lot of Jared's lines not making any sense, and even with his voice so low, he's off key. 

Jared kisses him just over his ear, just a brush of lips, and strokes his hand up his chest. He stops there, his hand warm and comforting, resting right over Jensen's heart. _We can pack up our old dreams and our old lives; we'll find a place where the sun still shines_ , he sings, whispering the words into Jensen's hair.

Jensen covers Jared's hand with his own, the thin layer of his shirt between them, and he smiles.

 

*

 

Jared leaves printed out information about places in France on the coffee table. Some of the cities Jensen recognizes, like Marseille and Avignon, but there are other things, like the smallest town in France, something called Boires, small chapels that look older than any buildings Jensen's ever seen, and a chiselled town.

 

*

 

"So, the thing you had planned for the summer," Jensen says as Jared slides onto a chair across from him. Sam's clothes are clinging to his body, wet with rain. 

Jared gives him an amused look, picking up his fork. "You mean, doing nothing?"

Jensen nods. "I was talking to my agent earlier, while you were filming your scene. I think doing nothing sounds good for a change."

"Yeah?" Jared asks, grinning widely. 

"Yeah. Think I'll get bored after a while?"

Under the table, Jared brushes their legs together. "Nah. We'll find something to do."


End file.
